Vol. 03, No. 46

Mt. Baker Beacon

Steven J. Wallace
11/17/24 - Mt. Baker Beacon 2024

“I JUST CAN’T FORGIVE HIM”

Steven J. Wallace

Such a sentiment expresses the struggle involved in forgiving others who harm us. It is likely held by far more who don’t vocalize it but keep it to themselves. Why is forgiving another so hard? Pride and anger fuel resentment and bitterness. Additionally, someone might feel that forgiving another is to let him off easy and excuse his wrongdoing.

Forgiveness requires sober thinking, humility, grace, and love. These traits center upon the mind of God. They grow out of partaking of the divine nature whereby we grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord (2 Pet. 1:4-7; 3:18). Paul connected these thoughts succinctly:

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).¹

Again,

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Col. 3:12, 13).

God shows us the path. Forgiving others becomes clearer when we see our sins in need of divine forgiveness through the prism of the cross. All the half-truths, lies, false innuendos, lusts, evil thoughts, slanderous words, covetous thoughts, envious feelings, and immoral impulses, etc. are an affront to God’s holy character and law. These and like sins caused the Son of God to subject Himself to the malicious brutality of man. “Just as God in Christ forgave you…so you must do.” What if I just can’t or won’t?

To forgive is a duty of love that calls upon the one who was sinned against to “go” and “tell him his fault” with the hope of gaining him back (Matt. 18:15). Talking about his sin to other people is not a part of the Lord’s equation. If he listens, there is a “gain.” Love doesn’t speculate motives but pursues the goal to win a soul back. Forgiveness follows once the sin is rebuked and the offender expresses repentance (Lk. 17:3, 4). Some seem to think that they can withhold forgiveness by judging the motive of the offender’s heart. No finite mortal sits in the place of the omniscient God! Jesus connects the time to forgive with the act of repentance (Lk. 17:3). Jesus gives no room for the offended party to assume the position of God by having the ability to know the motive, but rather is called to forgive when the offender “returns to you saying, ‘I repent’ (Lk. 17:4). This could take place even seven times in a day! Harboring grudges, playing God by judging the intentions of the heart, and refusing to forgive are themselves sins violating the Lord’s instruction: “You shall forgive him.”

The parable of the unmerciful servant (Matt. 18:23-35) unveils the tragic folly of an unforgiving heart. A man, granted mercy for an unpayable debt, turns around and cruelly withholds the same mercy from his fellow servant. This refusal to forgive ultimately seals his own downfall, showing that an unforgiving spirit brings ruin upon itself. His lack of compassion underscores the hypocrisy of accepting forgiveness without offering it to others. As a result, he forfeits his own forgiveness.

To put it plainly, if “I just can’t forgive him,” then I just can’t be forgiven. “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses” (Matt. 18:35).

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BIBLICAL ELECTION: MOSES

Numbers 12:1-8

How did God speak with Moses?
Was Moses divinely chosen by God to lead Israel out of Egyptian oppression, and did this divine selection guarantee his standing and position with God? (Exo. 3:4-10; 4:24)
Why was Moses called to take his sandals off? (Exo. 3:5)
What were Moses and Aaron to understand by the judgment that befell Nadab and Abihu? (Lev. 10:1-3)
In what did Moses fail in Numbers 20:1-12?
Is God’s election an open invitation for everyone to be saved? (1 Tim. 2:3-6)
According to Ephesians 1:4-5, where did God choose us, and how are we to live?

WHAT LESSONS STAND OUT TO YOU FROM THIS KIND OF MATERIAL?

BIBLICAL ELECTION: THE STANDARD
2 Thessalonians 2:13-17

Who does Jesus invite to come to Him, what does He require, and what outcome is promised? (Matt. 11:28-30)?
What method does God use to call sinners? (1 Cor. 1:21)
What standard serves as the basis of election? (2 Thess. 2:13, 14)
Identify the ongoing requirements of the elect of God:
1. Matthew 24:24 –
2. Colossians 1:22, 23 –

“who are kept by the power of God ____________ ____________ for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time” (1 Pet. 1:5).

1. Romans 8:29 –
2. 2 Peter 1:10 –

THOUGHT QUESTION: How can a person make his/her call and election sure?